Let’s just preface this with the preoccupation of ab * tch. However, over the years I’ve found a way that works for me to help minimize it, and that’s what I’m going to share with you. Just keep in mind what works for me may not work for you, because unfortunately there is no one size fits all anxiety remedy. However, in my opinion all are worth a try if there is any way that can help you.
First of all, let me say that you are not alone, you are not crazy and you are strong in AF, stronger than you realize my friend. I’ve struggled with anxiety for YEARS and I’ve definitely bottomed out with that struggle. Can you ready all about my anxiety story here (it’s the most vulnerable piece of content I’ve ever written – but I feel it’s important to do so).
Here’s everything in my “anti-anxiety” arsenal and a few that I think are super important to include in your life.
SET GAME– Let’s start with something that I think is VERY important— limit setting. This has been hard for me for a long time, but let me shout this from the rooftops— You need to learn how to set personal boundaries for yourself. If you don’t set them up, you’ll constantly end up in situations that cause you unnecessary stress and can often be avoided. If you have too much on your plate, you don’t feel comfortable doing something or think something might be the cause for you, do not do that. I know it sounds simple and stupid, but you’d be surprised how many times you find yourself agreeing to do things that without hesitation will set you up for failure. How many times have you agreed to do something and then one day your heart skipped a beat because you no longer wanted to do it? If you just take 5 minutes to really think about what is required of you instead of immediately agreeing to it, you will find that you can relieve your stress by saying no initially. Make a conscious effort to really think things through before committing so you don’t find yourself frustrated at the last second or worse— Go over with them to appease others and it makes you feel like an anxious mess the whole time.
The same goes for your career. Setting boundaries at work is the STANDARD for good mental health. If you don’t set them up, you’ll find yourself stressed, overworked, and/or missing out on the best parts of life. Please don’t do this to yourself. You have ONE life and it goes by too quickly, so it’s important to live it to the fullest. You need to start looking for you because no one else knows what you want or need more than yourself.
BOOK THE SCHEDULEMake a schedule for yourself and stick to it. I know I talk about this on my IG stories a lot, but when my schedule is gone, my anxiety is getting worse and worse. I need to go to bed at a certain time to be able to wake up at a certain time, and when I fall out of that cycle, it feels like night and day to me. Figuring out what works best for you and structuring your days around it helps a lot. Personally, I try to sleep before 10-10:30pm and wake up at 4:45-5am. I’m a morning person and I feel so much better when I wake up early and start my day.
SLEEP / CBD– On the subject of going to sleep, I have struggled with sleeping since I was a child. I attribute that unlucky quality to my racing mind and my ability to never “relax”. I had to go often because I needed to be busy, but not getting enough sleep left me severely paralyzed, worse than having a horrible hangover. Unfortunately, I’ve never had much luck falling asleep and over the years I’ve tried them all – banana tea, melatonin, lavender on the pillow, counting sheep, bedtime reading, ECT and while they all helped me, they never helped me. full.
Getting acquainted with CBD was a complete game changer for me both in terms of the sleep problems and the anxiety attacks that would haunt me. I’ve tried quite a few CBD brands before, but the one I use most often is Equilibria. Let me be the first to say that I am highly skeptical of CBD in general. I was wary of whether or not it would work and I was also nervous to honestly try it. I didn’t understand how amazing it really is until I tried it for myself and my skepticism disappeared instantly.
Here’s my CBD routine in case you want to give it a try. PS— I have a code with them – HAVE SUGAR – currently 33% off until the end of the night (then 15% off). You can learn more about Equilibria and shop their products by clicking here.
DAILY CARDS (regular intensity, mint flavor)
I started using CBD full spectrum oil to help me sleep and would put a full drop of the oil in my mouth before bed and combine it with melatonin— I call this my nighttime cocktail. Within half an hour, I felt at ease, no longer tired and less fatigued. I also use these drops daily before flying to reduce flight anxiety. Equilibria also has a dosing specialist that you can book a 1-on-1 appointment with for FREE with the purchase of their products.
DAILY SOFTWARE (regular strength)
These are something I take on a daily basis because they help prevent any random anxiety flare-ups, but sometimes I don’t take them on a daily basis and I only use them on days when I wake up feeling upset. In about 45 minutes, I was very calm and started.
I only use this full spectrum balm as needed for my cramps, but it’s also great for aching joints and just overall soreness!
** FYI there is a small amount of THC in these products but less than 0.3% THC, so it’s both legal and won’t make you feel drunk!
WEIGHT BLANKET– One more thing that I EXCELLENTLY recommend is getting a weighted blanket. I swear it feels like someone is holding you tight and it makes you feel so safe and secure. I wish it was so bad I knew about this in law school when I lived alone because boy would it come in handy!! The exact one I have is from Amazon and it link here.
READ – Reading self-help and anxiety books are helpful because they give a sense of understanding what you’re going through, show you that you’re not alone, and provide some really great insights into how deal. Put down my favorite book is “First, We Make the Beast Beautiful” by Sarah Wilson. If you need a place to start, I love this book because it really takes you through her painful journey with mental illness and it’s incredible.
Here are some other recommendations:
Anxiety: Worrying about panic by Joshua Fletcher
The subtle art of not giving an F*ck by Mark Manson
You’re not alone by Zachary David
Out of your head by Jennie Allen
DO EXERCISE– This is a MUST. Mental health and physical health go hand in hand. You don’t give yourself a fighting chance to be mentally healthy without being physically healthy. Your body and mind will feel so much better when you add exercise to your daily routine. It can be in any form— walking, hiking, swimming, going to the gym. It just needs to be something and it needs to be consistent. The hardest part is getting started… it can make you nervous getting up and going at first, but once you make it a habit your mental health will improve tremendously. I was always active and loved to run or exercise, but when I entered law school, I fainted in the gym in my apartment and woke up in the hospital. I’ve been pretty much PTSD about going to the gym alone since then. My advice if something similar happens to you, or if going to the gym alone in general stresses you out, find someone to be your workout buddy. My fiancé is my gym buddy. We go to the gym 4-5 times a week and he holds me accountable. I’ve noticed a world of difference in my mental health back in the gym.
I hope that this helps one of you in some way! Sending all my love and hugs!
Love is always,
Contoured high heels