CBS hires Ray Hudson to call football

Ray Hudson

Ray Hudson
Picture: beautiful pictures

CBS is primarily a gift for football fans. Unlike Turner when they bought the Champions League rights, forgot about it until the day before the tournament started, then dusted the closet and ordered whatever the former USMNT members were available within an hour flying from the set, CBS took its reporting very seriously. And that’s what most football fans in the United States do – we really want to be left alone to just watch the game without needing to. Homer .’s Makeup Gun shot at us somehow to play the game we’ve come to love. We were hooked on a brief presentation and that’s where we wanted to stay.

CBS got it from the street dance. In all its coverage – Serie A, Champions League, Europa League and NWSL – the network has never tried to sell you a product you bought. CBS treats fans like adults (Fox can’t claim that) and author their presentations that way. The network has analysts, both in the studio and in the game, who just analyze the game. They’re not trying to sell t-shirts with catchphrases or dominate anything. They sent their studio team to Italy for the big games to show they understand the allure of the occasion. Their video packages are among the best in the business. They put the game at the center of everything. They’ve been a godsend in a world where ESPN and Fox can’t be trusted to make the effort to get out of the room to cut a fart.

But they made their first big mistake. For some reason, I can only assume brain injury among the many producers who hired Ray Hudson to be part of their Champions League coverage. And an important part, when he seemed to be number 1 in the broadcast, when he did PSG-Juve in the first match and then Barca-Bayern yesterday.

If you don’t know Ray Hudson, he was definitely tweeted to your timeline at some point while he was covering La Liga for BeIN Sports on TV’s worst broadcast along with Phil Schoen. Schoen was clueless and kept repeating some phrases he learned at the college radio station, or so it was, and Hudson made every game the equivalent of stuffing cockroaches in your ear. .

Hudson became famous because he had a dense Scottish burr, which in itself helped entertain most because Americans rarely grow beyond the “HE TALK FUNNY” level of entertainment and by because he was trying to come up with descriptions and adjectives that he obviously spent the week thinking about and designing.

To put it witty:

I love the vocabulary as good as the next guy, and they wouldn’t have been so bad if they weren’t being yelled at by viewers in a way that can only be described as bluffing. Doc Emerick used many different words when calling hockey, but he didn’t do it to call attention to himself. They match the rest of his patois just to better describe the game.

Hudson shouted these things just to draw attention to the fact that he was shouting these words. He was the attraction in his mind, which was never something a broadcaster should have. A few years ago, someone told him what the word “magisterial” meant, and he has cherished our home, our ears, and our brains with it ever since. He uses it as Macho Man used “Oh yeah!” It goes everywhere.

Friend maybe heard a call his about Leo Messi’s goal, which is the main background for his word masturbation to actually turn angry. Thankfully, two minutes after any Messi goal was the only time Hudson was silent because I assume some of the interns had to cut Hudson’s wave out of the entire booth.

Worse still, when he wasn’t talking (which was almost never the case), he still interjected with noises as if someone in the stall was trying to get his kidney out through his asshole. he. Again, no 10-second chunk of any game can go without Hudson letting you know he’s there and you’re happy to listen to him, as you try to lift the couch. your own so you can drop it on the head.

CBS’s strength is the lack of flash when it comes to introducing the sport, presenting it as it is and letting it sell itself. For many fans, football is a refuge from the constant sirens of air raids that the NFL or NBA can turn into. Hudson is what happens if you combine a rebellious Tony Romo with Gus Johnson’s worst, run that concoction through the guts of a rhinoceros, and then air it while being squeezed by a contraction tablets. If he turns out to be someone I have to listen to in the semi-final, or heaven forbid, the final I’ll defend myself. Lucky for me, it looks like he won’t be upset with any of Liverpool’s forays into those rounds.

You are the chosen one, CBS.

Death Starr

Into the dirt, Ken Starr.

The world seemed lighter and softer with the news that right-wing toothless former attack dog Ken Starr went surfing. Starr has certainly done a lot of heinously bad things, but perhaps his most cowardly was getting his hands on the wheel when Baylor College essentially committed the rape of a football player’s privilege. There, looking at it the other way around with so many attacks, it’s surprising that Starr’s neck doesn’t shoot. Real lives have been changed and ruined and Starr can’t be bothered to lift a finger because it could cost a bowl match. The worst of the Texas ethos, and the first good he did for the world was yesterday.

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