CM Punk, Roman Reigns, and a story about two press conferences

CM Punk (left, with cake) and Tony Khan

CM Punk (left, with cake) and Tony Khan
Screenshots: YouTube / Denise Salcedo

Follow WWE’s Clash at the castle event on Saturday, the company held a press conference during which its chief executive officer, Paul “Triple H” Levesque, was accompanied by several performers. Speaking first was undisputed champion Roman Reigns, who was in character for about 90 seconds, delivering his remarks to a group of upbeat and energetic reporters. Here is Reigns’ full review:

“I think I want you to do what they won’t do. Acknowledge me!”

Fun! Be next to each other.

Follow AEW’s All go out event on Sunday, the company held a press conference in which its chief executive, Tony Khan, was accompanied by a number of performers. Speaking first, undisputed champion CM Punk, who appeared irregularly for more than 20 minutes, delivered his remarks to a group of confused and sometimes frightened reporters, including several which he personally found uncomfortable. Here’s a compilation of Punk’s reviews:

“When I finally had to protest [Ring of Honor wrestler and former friend Colt Cabana], through discovery we discovered he shared a bank account with his mother. That is a fact. … The fact that I have to come up here and [admonish journalists] in 2022 what a shame. And if you’re all at fault, damn it! If you don’t, I apologize. But what in the world have I done to deserve a damn empty head like ‘The Hangman’ Adam Page goes to national television and starts a business for himself – for what? What did I do? … I’m trying to run a damn business. … [Cabana] shared a bank account with his mom, that tells you all you need to know about that personality type. … I’m sorry if I’m being silly, I’m sick and old and tired and I have to work with damn kids. Here [baked good] Mindy’s Bakery by the way. It’s a great place in Chicago. If you like cakes and baked goods, I recommend going there. However, they are closed on Mondays and Tuesdays. … [Internet gossip] really pissed me off. You are stepping on your own dick. … I’m wearing Danhausen’s boots, this is a true story. … I really have a problem with shoes, I’m trying to figure out, like, what to wear, and that’s real life. … Damn Sidney Crosby. … Contrary to popular belief, I’m a very nice guy. Thank you.”


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