‘Cosmic Love,’ Amazon Prime’s Astrological Dating Show, Is So Messy and Very Straight

This summer, reality dating shows are on the rise. FBoy Island in Papaya on HBO Max, Bachelorette went back to ABC with *two* potential customers and babes of Love Island got randy. Are you ready for another one?

enter Cosmic love, a pioneering experiment that premiered Monday on Amazon Prime and seeks to combine the balding sincerity of astrology with the sheer stupidity of the reality TV genre. The rules are simple and designed for maximum drama: The four main characters, each representing one of the elements, date through a common singles group in search of their perfect match. surname.

The “elements” must overcome their natural (bad) dating instincts to find their astrological matches. Then the real game begins: Once the elements have confirmed all of their matches, they must eliminate those with whom they see no future. In the end, factors will determine at the altar whether to marry their soulmate or not.

There’s just one catch: The contestants our top four are dating can also (and certainly do) hook up.

Some of our “elements” handle chaos better than others. Noel, Pisces with its wandering eyes, represents water – and in the six episodes given for review, he seems to be having a great time. Phoebe, a fiery Leo who craves the focused attention of her matches, struggles a little more. Representing the earth is Maria, an emotional Capricorn who grew up watching Walter Mercado but struggles to trust the “Astronomical Chamber” (mystical guide, voiced by Cree Summer, which is supposed to shepherd the elements on their journey). And Connor, a somewhat reclusive Gemini, needs to find a way to overcome his stoic tendencies in order to feel more grounded.

As with most of these shows, the mess is by far the best part. Because of the season-leading battle against singles in the house for attention, Astro Chamber often sees these disappointments as challenges to overcome. It can be interesting to see how each element communicates with their various dating prospects, especially as they ostensibly try to overcome their usual instincts and habits.

In this context, astrology becomes a useful tool for self-examination and reflection. More importantly, though, it’s funny to watch feisty, clumsy singles turn to a supposedly sentient orb for advice; It simply never gets old watching someone sit in their group of matches for a town hall that begins with the words, “The Astro Room just told me…”

Activities on Cosmic love ranges from silly games in bikinis (like painting each other’s bodies with colors that represent different virtues) to emotionally intense exercises that require contestants to dig deep. At one point, a contestant who usually plays a comic relief role shed tears as he paid tribute to a cousin who died of COVID-19. As often happens in performances like this, some attempts feel sincere, while others appear more awkward.

Like intentionally stupid like Cosmic love possible, a show like this is probably inevitable. Astrology apps have thrived in recent years – “Are you a Costar or are you a person of The Pattern?” – and Tinder has a lot of “Big 3” user profiles. (For starters, that would be the sun, moon, and rising signs.) Honestly, it’s amazing how long it took someone to bring the mainstream of astrology to life. on a dating program.

Mind you, the real flaw of this show is the one that plagues most of our actual dating stuff: It’s pitifully straight, it’s pathetic. With the gay community’s acceptance of astrology, the mandatory heterosexuality of Cosmic love more prominent. Similarly, it’s hard to understand why, like so many dating shows that claim to foster deeper relationships, Cosmic love seems to have been done with the target BMI framework in mind.

It’s hard to understand why, like so many dating shows that claim to promote deeper relationships, ‘Cosmic Love’ seems to have been made with the target BMI framework in mind.

For astrology itself, the chart readings above Cosmic love doesn’t seem quite on par with, say, Indian Matchmaking in terms of complexity. But astrology enthusiasts will be relieved to know that the show ventures beyond the sun sign (itself useless) to discover the group’s Big 3 signs, the North and South nodes, and Moreover.

However, I guess most viewers are watching Cosmic love more infatuated with the dating half of its equation; Maybe they’re not the ones on the hunt for Chani Nicholas’ latest book. If you’re looking for another source of reality show mess, Cosmic love maybe just The One. But be warned: the stars are not for the faint of heart.

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