Roots for Dallas Cowboys have become an arduous task. Even referring to Cowboys and post-season success in the same sentence is oxymoronic in the 21st century. Mississippi weather forecaster and weekend anchor Ethan Bird knocked one person out of a park when he included a Cowboy joke in his 10-day forecast.
Even Cowboys fans were LOL at that statement. Bird doesn’t lie. He even pointed to Thursday’s temperature (96), which corresponds to the last time Dallas won the Super Bowl. Mr. Bird delivered the lyrics as smoothly as a Larry Bird jump. Nothing but the net.
Unfortunately, the truth in that joke is what baffles Cowboys fans. Although they are still the best valuable in the NFL, they have also become the longest-running team in the league. It was true Dallas couldn’t seem to escape no matter what they did.
Since Dallas last appeared in the sport’s biggest game in January ’96, 21 other organizations have participated in at least one Super Bowl. The Cincinnati Bengals recently returned to the big game for the first time since ’89. This may put Jerry Jones to shame, but he still makes a lot of money from “team America” despite it.
During Jason Garrett’s time in Dallas, it felt like they went 8-8 each foul season. Sure, there was a 12-win season and then a 13-win in that for Garrett. But in Garrett’s first three full seasons as head coach of the Cowboys, the team went 8-8 in all three years. He even finished his last campaign in 2019 with an 8-8 record.
The Cowboys have had six head coaches since Barry Switzer left after the ’97 season. Legendary coach Bill Parcells couldn’t even remove the brand from the ring during his four years in Dallas. Maybe it’s Jimmy Johnson’s curse that has held back the Cowboys for so long.
Johnson suddenly opened fire after consecutive Super Bowl victories in ’92 & ’93. Switzer came and won Jones another title with Jimmy’s roster, and since then it’s been a dry well for the Cowboys, where the championship is concerned. Since Dallas’ last appearance, all but two NFC teams have played in at least one NFC championship game. The Detroit Lions and Washington Commanders are the only other NFC teams that have failed to qualify since ’96.
Yet each year like a clock, some talker chooses Dallas to go all the way and regrets it in November. It’s remarkable how successful Jones has been at building the Cowboys brand. over the past 25 years with very little showing on the pitch. Talk about handling your business; Jerry has done it more than 10 times. It just doesn’t translate into success in the field, and that’s when you start to start hitting the shots your way like with Ethan Bird.
Breakthrough Leader and Rookie of the Year Micah Parsons discovered this witnessed firsthand when he felt he would play better in an NBA Finals game than an actual NBA player. Joking is one thing, but then posting it on Twitter is another. At that point, you’re just asking for it.
Parsons was given the assignment simply because he played for the Cowboys, and rightfully so. Yes, he’s only got a year to go into a successful long NFL career, but he’s playing for a franchise that should probably be barred from saying the word champion at this point. And that’s really the point when it comes to Cowboys now. They are nothing more than an American joke.