I talked to 70 parents who raised very successful adults — here are 4 tough things they did differently
What is the role of parents in raise smart, confident and successful kids? What’s up? What not? Although I am a mother of two happy and entrepreneurial boys, these are questions I never thought of.
Looking back, I’ve enjoyed reading stories about how entrepreneurs have grown – not only Bill Gates and Steve Jobsbut the ones that we can actually identify.
In my view, entrepreneurs are not just founders of for-profit businesses. They are resilient people who work hard to get something started, people who come up with ideas and bring them to life, people who turn passions into projects.
As I researched and wrote my book, “Elevate Entrepreneurship” I interviewed 70 parents who raised very successful adults. Here are four parenting rules that are hard to distinguish them from most others:
1. Create high independence for children
Susan and Anne Wojcicki Two very successful sisters. Susan, Google’s first chief marketing officer, became the company’s CEO in 2014. Anne co-founded 23andMea genomics and biotechnology company.
When I talk to their mother Estherit’s clear that her girls have grown up knowing she trusts them to behave responsibly.
Girls are given freedoms that some parents, especially today, would cringe. “I “I had three children in four years and no one to help me, so I forced them to work just in case,” Esther told me.
Her kids love that feeling of freedom. “I think that gave them a lot of confidence,” she said. “My mom lives in LA, and I’m bringing my five-year-old daughter on a plane [alone] – with a nametag around her neck – to visit her grandmother in LA”
Even if you’re afraid to give your children the freedom Esther has given her daughters, she says “you can still get them to do things around the house that contribute to the family, such as home so they can take responsibility and develop their confidence.”
2. Actively cultivate compassion
Children whose parents show them what it feels like to help others in need, whether around the world or at the kitchen table, take the first step in developing a compassionate outlook.
Scott Harrison is the founder charity: water, a nonprofit that restores and maintains wells to help people sustainably access clean water. In just 15 years, Charity:water has funded 60,000 projects in 29 developing countries, brought clean water to 12 million people, and raised nearly half a billion dollars for the cause.
Before Scott’s mother, Joan, passed away, she told me that she attributed his success to the parenting foundation she laid out very early on, built on a spirit of community, Discipline and hard work.
When he was in elementary and middle school, she would help him sort out clothes, books, and toys, and they would give some away to kids who could use them.
Early recognition of other people’s problems can also encourage children to start asking business questions: “Is it really what it is?” “How can I make them better?”
3. Welcome failure early and often
Nia Batts Co-Founder Detroit Blows, a non-toxic, all-inclusive beauty and hair service. I met Nia about 10 years ago when she worked at Viacom.
When I asked her how she got the courage to leave her secure job and start over, she said it was because she learned the values of failure. early and often when she was young.
“My mother is a trial lawyer. Most of the time she wins, sometimes she loses,” Nia said. “I remember my dad used to ask me, ‘What did you fail at today?’ He asked me when I was young and he drove me to or from school; he asked me when I was in college; and he asked me more often when I started working.”
I have seen so many parents trying to save their children from failure. But Nia’s parents wanted to make sure they created an environment where failure was possible. “I think they were excited to see the process unfold as I grew up and learned that lesson. My father taught me that wounding is your gift, and failure is your opportunity.” , she said.
4. Take control and lead by following
Children need time to discover their path. Many stages go through when it is not clear where they are going. In this situation, some parents may find their child lost. But parents of kids who grow up as entrepreneurs are more likely to find their kids more adventurous.
Here’s the hard part for many parents: If you want to grow as an entrepreneur, you need to lead by following, no matter where your child wants to go.
Kenneth GinsburgThe author of “Building Resilience in Children and Adolescents” offers this advice: “Getting off the road is challenging. We want to help, correct, and guide children. But we have to remind ourselves that when we let them figure things out on their own. , we convey this: ‘I think you’re capable and wise.'”
In other words, see what your kids want, what their passions are, what they’re good at, and what makes them happy. Allow their gift to reveal itself. Then support it. Tell them how proud you are of them for being successful on their chosen path. And then tell them over and over again, until you’re sure they believe it.
They may not end up with the career you’ve been thinking of, but if they can follow their passion, they’ll be happy and fulfilled. And isn’t that what all parents want for their children?
Margot Machol Bisnow is a writer, a mother, and parenting expert. She has served 20 years in government, including as an FTC Commissioner and Chief of Staff of the President’s Council of Economic Advisers, and is the author of “Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Child Achieve Their Dreams.” Follow her on Instagram @margotbisnow.
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