Sports

LeBron James shifts NFL allegiance from Cowboys to Browns

This does not calculate.

This does not calculate.
Picture: beautiful pictures

Noted frontrunner LeBron James has changed his allegiance to the NFL because it’s clear the Cowboys won’t win the Super Bowl – oh, wait. He actually released Jerry Jones and Dallas because of the owner player kneeling stance. If the story ends there – and of course, it’s not because there are degrees to this shit – that’s a commendable reason to stop supporting a team he really doesn’t have any reason to. there’s no reason to hold on other than they’re really good now that he’s grown up, like the Yankees, of whom James is also a fan.

During an Instagram Live chat with Maverick Carter, James officially denounced ‘Boys.

“No, I have to sit on the Cowboys man,” James said when asked about his fandom. “It was just a lot going on, when the men were on their knees…[The] organ [was] like ‘If you do it around here, you won’t be playing for this franchise anymore.’ “

Lots of questions. First, how long ago did he stop pulling to Dallas? The whole thing of Jerry Jones against kneeling happened 15 billion news cycles ago. Second, which team has won the King’s favor now? The New England dynasty is gone, so there isn’t a single clearly successful NFL team for the current Los Angeles Laker – who also likes (or likes) Evil Empire (Yankees), Cowboys, Ohio State Buckeyes and Michael Jordan – to originate because. (You don’t wear the number 23 growing up if you hate MJ.)

So who is this lucky organization that James likes now? And how’s their record on human relations?

Well, LeBron’s new team is the shit franchise he should’ve been stuck with as a kid from Akron: The Cleveland Browns. No one can accuse him of sandbagging this time because that team has been a Factory of Sadness.

The catch, of course, is if James wants to lob self-righteous shots from his throne, he might want to check the recent history of his new favorite team. And judging by the fact that he’s switching his allegiance to Cleveland, he’s not up to date with current events. Allow me to fill in the timeline.

There’s been a pretty well-covered story surrounding the Browns regarding their new quarterback quartet, several massage therapists, and alleged sexual misconduct. (Deshaun Watson has denied all of the allegations, most of which were dropped though masseurs appeared buttoned up in civilian suits.)

I guess James simply took a page out of the NFL books and looked the other way like Browns owner and truck stop magnate Jimmy Haslam taught him. I doubt we’ll see Bron at back gate carries props for their rape prankbut that’s more because it’s in public more than anything else.

If he cared as much about the way Robert Sarver treated employees, including women as he posed his thread attacks the disenfranchised (and deserving) Suns ownershe should denounce Watson.

But there’s a tweet for everything, including LBJ’s excitement over the Watson trade.

Blameworthy. (Did he really not read any news? Watson had more open cases than Zodiac Killer when he was traded to Cleveland and awarded a substantial amount of money guaranteed.)

If you want to get into the obscene galactic brain with it, here’s another move by LeBron to continue to ingrain the city and the Cavs. He doesn’t enter the Hall as a Laker or a member of the Heat culture, and he’d love to be revered the way Steph Curry is in the Bay Area. LA fans have finished his prime, but their appetites can only be satisfied by spending your fleshy primordial time in purple and gold. (Did you hear that, Anthony Davis?) And while Miami fans won’t say no, as long as Pat Riley is there, I don’t see him relenting. (Little known fact: Did you know Riley runs his annual training camp by towing a Bugatti across the Key Biscayne bridge – WITH his TEAM?! It’s a real thing if you’ve never seen it. )

All I want LeBron to do is admit he’s a Browns fan because they’ve got a solid, young team with the superstar infrastructure to make them invincible contenders. enemy. We know he’s good at determining that, and it’ll tell smart gamblers something about the Browns’ Super Bowl odds before they drop after Watson hits the FirstEnergy pitch. in the style of Hannibal Lecter and launched the NFL.

Speak, LeBron. Let’s say this is an opportunistic group jump like some of the others you’ve taken throughout your career. SAY!




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