I found myself getting distracted multiple times watching the Buffalo Bills and Miami Dolphins’ Wild Card Weekend Match. This time it wasn’t the fans throwing rocks at the Dolphin player, but the thing Mike McDaniel was wearing on his head.
When the game broadcast showed the Dolphins mastermind deep in the touchline, my head involuntarily tilted and my eyes narrowed. Not because I was curious about the play he was going to perform next, but because the color situation on his beanie raised some questions.
Did the hat fall into the locker room mop bucket? Did the equipment manager accidentally mix white and colored items during the washing process? Is the hat the prototype for Bill Walton’s new NFL x Grateful Dead collaboration collection?
Defective professional sporting goods
Finally, I remembered that NFL coaches or players are not allowed to wear anything without the approval of the federation. So when I saw the tie-dyed/other-dyed beanies over the weekend, it was clear that these hats were yet another example of faulty professional sporting goods.
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No matter how ugly the merchandise is, pro sports leagues, like all other businesses, have the goal for profit to constantly grow. For the leagues, a great source of easy revenue is to wag new merch in their direction like a peanut vendor at the ballpark.
The NBA is also guilty of this
The worst of course is the NBA. I wish an equipment manager would “accidentally” put bleach in the wash load with all of the black New York Knicks uniforms so they could be taken out of the rotation for at least one night.
There are so many uniforms, including a city edition that is now redesigned every year. Some of the games can make a viewer’s head hurt because of all of the colors on the court combined with the uniforms. There is a reason that production crews white balance cameras. Too much color makes for an unpleasant viewing experience.
In many NBA games, there is no team wearing white. Color is being hurled at the viewer like a kindergartener got a hold of a 64-count Crayola box and the league decided to broadcast whatever the kid drew with before someone finally took away the crayons. Sporting events are not the Met Gala. Even there, as eccentric as some of the outfits are, at least the colors make sense.
But of course, money is more important than the viewer being able to follow the game. The NBA appears to be content to fire as many different color combinations and uniforms as possible at the viewers. The NFL is much better than the NBA about the color matchups on the field, especially since they have done away with the color rush Thursday night games.
That still doesn’t excuse these terrible beanies though. While I now know that the hats are supposed to look the way that they do, I would still rather not get hit in the face with tie dye every time the broadcast shows the sidelines.
Of all the business uniforms the phrase “less is more,” should be most applied to sports teams.
