Michigan State paid $95 million for 3-5-man team, but ‘fight’ didn’t charge

Mel Tucker (left) and Jim Harbaugh

Mel Tucker (left) and Jim Harbaugh
image: beautiful pictures

Before going to the rest of this post, I will give you what you are here to see because you will scroll down the video regardless of whether the content is written before or after the video. So here’s yours, ya hyena. This is a clip of a group of Michigan State players more or less dancing two lone Wolverines after Sparty jumped into the Big House, July 29.

In his post-match press conference, UM coach Jim Harbaugh called it an “assault” and said AD Warde Manuel was handling a “fight” with the authorities. My response when Harbaugh classified two of his players’ attempts to confront 17 angry Spartans – and failed – as an “attack” was to try not to shrug.

This is the same coach who got into a scuffle with Jim Schwartz after the San Francisco 49ers-Detroit Lions game when both were NFL captains more than a decade ago. The current Michigan coach also described his quarterback match decision earlier this year as “biblical,” so there’s some hypocrisy and hype here.

However, that is where my defense of the State of Michigan ends.

I want to remind you that Mel Tucker, the MSU football curator, has over 500 games in his career (21-19) and is on a 10-year, $95 million, fully guaranteed contract. during the season. I don’t get angry about someone getting a huge salary they don’t deserve, and even less so for a black football coach. And seeing as Michigan State lost 11-2 a season ago, and LSU loitering to East Lansing in search of a new head, this is the only move the university can make to keep Tucker’s foot.

Or, you know, was it really? Over the past six weeks, Tucker’s team has been outscored 206-109, and that’s including a win over Wisconsin. Aside from his standout year in 2021, he’s 10-17. The guy deserted Colorado after one season to go to the Big Ten, and the threat of him leaving for a better job like a mercenary switching sides for double what the current employer is paying was so pervasive that a huge contract might as well have been an ultimatum.

Tucker isn’t the only coach who’s flirtations have forced egregious extensions from athletic directors. Jimbo Fisher was gifted with a hefty bag for the same reason as Tucker. Texas A&M also lost again Saturday, and the Aggies have the same record (3-5) as the Spartans in 2022. Both fanbases are fucking irate over the losing but more so because of the bleak, incurable future that can’t be changed due to funny money buyouts.

Think about it like this: Had either AD at A&M or MSU called the bluffs of their coaches’ agents, Fisher or Tucker would be the problem of Bayou Bengals’ supporters. If at any point you say to yourself, “Am I crazy to spend this much money on a X?” don’t spend that much money on X. If something goes wrong — like, I don’t know, your team stomping out a couple opponents in the tunnel after they themselves got pistol-whipped for hours — it looks even worse because you paid a fuck ton for it.

Astros even World Series, get accused of more cheating

The Astros were able to hold onto a 5-0 lead Saturday, and mostly because starting pitcher Framber Valdez had his curveball on a string, striking out nine and surrendering one run in 6.1 innings. Of course, since this is Houston we’re talking about, the win was not without accusations of cheating.

Philadelphia manager Rob Thomson Twitter investigation downvotedcredit the ‘Stros for their 5-2 win and move on to Game 3 in Philly on Monday – just like the rest of baseball fans should do.

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