No one on Bravo is entitled to work like the hardworking women in Potomac (and DC and Bethesda and Baltimore). After a delay in scheduling — our cherry blossoms usually arrive in spring or summer—The Real Housewives of the Potomac returned to what was a thrilling and frenetic seventh season in its first 90 minutes.
Everyone on this show — but especially the master provocateur Gizelle Bryant– understand that they have a job to do, which not only entertains us with constant arguments, but also makes us invest in their often chaotic and humiliating personal lives. (You hear that, Beverly Hills?).
And boy, do we get a lot out of this first episode. Ashley Darby is about to divorce and bought a house with her ex-husband Michael (possibly?) fiancé. Candiace Dillard Bassett is freezing her eggs and scolds Chris for having a job. Robyn Dixon wants to be prepared whenever she and Juan walk down the aisle (May 2026 I bet). Mia Thornton was accused of being a cancer-fearing opportunist. Karen Huger performing her typical Lucille Ball shot. Wendy Osefo is about to do business with Lisa Vanderpump of the East Coast, Peter Thomas. Oh, and did I mention Charisse Jackson-Jordan is back for unexplained reasons?
Let’s find out about this chaotic, super freak launch.
We open with television’s greatest liberal enemies, Karen and Gizelle, having a picnic under a million cherry blossom trees somewhere in Washington, DC. The two are indeed friendly (for now) after sharing a heartfelt moment during their last reunion. Robyn finally joined in. And so is Ashley, who creeps up behind women like Michael Myers in a supposedly creepy blue metal jacket.
Immediately, Gizelle got to work and asked Ashley about her newly announced divorce. After years of crying over her failed marriage and defending Michael against allegations of sexual assault, Ashley seems deeply troubled by their split. She casually tells us that Michael has no interest in stopping having threesomes while she wants to be monogamous, which is more or less the same problem they’ve had for the past six seasons. Ashley, however, really wants a home, and Michael seems to be trying to hook her up by offering to buy a home under a joint LLC. The women are lovely. But Karen also agrees that Ashley, a private woman like herself, is clearly not ready to give up Michael’s income.
(LR) Charrisse Jackson Jordan, Mia Thornton, Ashley Darby and Gizelle Bryant.
Shannon Finney / Bravo
Then the first time Potomac said “you are lying about having the disease!” plot as Mia carelessly shares her recent cancer scare on Instagram. It seems like Robyn, Gizelle and Ashley don’t want Mia to post about her health journey unless she knows for sure that she has cancer, otherwise it’s “attention”. “You don’t just drop the C,” says Robyn, as if they shouldn’t all be alarmed by the very real possibility of cancer in adult women. Clearly, Mia’s emotional (albeit vague) post is somehow more of an insult to the cancer community than a criticism of a woman over her tumor screening.
In another medical story, Candiace is freezing her eggs. She’s also very exhausted, which she announces in every shot. Thankfully, the “Drive Back” singer is more interested in scolding her husband for working too hard than making us care about her birthing journey. Chris couldn’t seem to get other women to call him anymore and he got a job as a general manager of a hotel restaurant. Candiace, who, as I imagine, doesn’t have any management or hospitality experience, doesn’t understand why Chris comes home at different times each night. They argued on the way home from the fertility clinic. It’s awkward!
In other news, Robyn meets with Charisse – who is introduced to us as if she wasn’t the original actress – to discuss pre-marriage preparations to Juan. Robyn is clearly proud that she’s the breadwinner now, and so am I when I watch her subtly boast throughout this scene. We finally see Mia, who is renting a house in the Potomac near Karen. (Though according to her recent Instagram posts, that might not last too long.) Mia briefly explained that she had a biopsy and had several tumors that she was being screened for. check. Karen also stopped by her home to warn her of the skepticism of other women about her health problems.
(LR) Ashley Darby and Candiace Dillard.
Shannon Finney / Bravo
After debuting a faint candle that was memorably recorded by Karen, Dr. Wendy is upping the line this season by breaking into the nightlife business. It’s been a huge leap to go from selling home accessories directly to consumers to owning a lounge in Nigeria, but the aspiring academic is poised to expand the business with the help of Mr. The Real Housewives of Atlanta old man and dubious businessman Peter. It’s hard to tell if this is a good idea or not. Peter is giving Wendy 20%, which is four times more than Lisa Vanderpump has given each Toms to a restaurant bearing their name. Vanderpump’s Rule. So she does better than them, at least. Wendy also happily suggested that the lounge should be a children’s library during the day.
Of course, we have to talk more about Ashley’s pending divorce. There’s nothing Ashley loves more than making her protective uncle miserable with the news of her disgusting marriage, so we have a scene where he misleads her decision about the possibility. get a home with Michael while her sons scream in the background. Ashley said in a confessional that she doesn’t think about what her budget would be without Michael’s income because she doesn’t seem to pay for anything even as a TV star. Realistically, this is definitely a flexibility.
After a classic scene of Gizelle’s daughters reading her to defile, this premiere culminates in a party Karen throws to celebrate spring, because why not? It was truly a gorgeous event, filled with bright red and everyone was dressed up elegantly. We even got an Askale appearance. For the most part, people just re-emphasize Ashley’s plight with Michael, and Gizelle and Karen predict that she won’t really go through with the divorce with him.
Gizelle finally confronts Mia after all her nonsense and delivers the most jarring greeting. “So this is what cancer/non-cancerous looks like?” she asked, glaring Mia from top to bottom. “Is it cancer or not cancer?” she continued, like she was asking who designed her jacket. This is an extremely insensitive thing to say to someone who is in the process of being screened. And yes, Mia is someone who has been cheated on and thinks non-surgical vaginal rejuvenation is the same as making her clitoris work. But this whole investigation was really unnecessary, as I giggled at the blue-eyed bandits who designated themselves cancer cops.
(LR) Gizelle Bryant, Charisse Jackson Jordan and Ashley Darby.
Aaron Davidson / Bravo
Likewise, Mia says her doctor thinks she has lymphoma and tells Gizelle, “Fuck it.” Of course, Gizelle was confused that she would be disparaged for mocking someone’s health. And we end with Karen’s horrified face and a good-natured “To be continued.”
All told, this is probably one of the best first seasons Bravo has had in years. These totally messed-up women continue to raise the bar for themselves and all the other Housewives who think their boring rumor-spreading and break from Mormonism suffice. amuse us. RHOP continues to weave perfectly engaging individual storylines with completely stupid battles, reminding viewers what Real housewives like its most interesting.
