Spring is waiting for you, my dear. The birds were chirping, the hibiscus flowers were blooming, and the sky finally had a little more color on their cheeks. Two long years make all the difference.
Go out and claim those chic vibes! Here are 20 things to do during the month of hardiness, jokes, and temper (show it), and none of them necessitates watching Episode 4 of Brand New Cherry Flavor. It’s a tough pass on Tadpole Smoothie thanks.
1. Take 3-5 working days to recover from April Fool’s Day.
2. See yourself talking like Anna Delvey. I don’t have time for this. I don’t have time for you.
3. Ask yourself why out-of-the-box Maltesers are superior in taste and experience to the bag.
4. Eat a bowl of hot vermicelli from the principal. The marmites = God-tier. We won’t hear anything else.
5. Realize that you can only be a nice person if it’s sunny.
6. Read What A Shame by Abigail Bergstrom. Our all time premiere and book club Zoella selected in April dontchaknow.
7. Get annoyed when you don’t have time to do Wordle before work.
8. Thank you for booking a week off before the BH weekend. You will be the envy of all your colleagues. Boom boom.
9. Grief against you for forgetting to book that week. The countdown to the jubilant weekend is on.
10. Form a love/hate relationship with Heard. The lyrical version of Wordle. You will see.
11. Be amazed how Cadbury’s holds you this time of year. They have you in a suffocating Creme Egg.
12. Declare yourself as your own Uncuh Jaahmz muse.
13. Have lunch outside because it’s just warm enough to do it now. Arms season has arrived. It’s really novel.
14. Get your first pedicure of the season…
15. See how long you can last before apologizing for the condition of your feet.
16. Wondering when your parents decided that you would come of age when buying you Easter eggs is no longer a parental request. Family drama followed.
17. Realize that you spent the last 5 years cultivating an Instagram following before TikTok destroyed that dream and now you have to learn how to make videos. Social media is very interesting.
18. Try not to be overwhelmed with the cost of breathing in 2022.
19. Fail (obviously) because the action itself is exorbitantly priced.
20. Expect a visit from: The Fear. We need to do a factory reset after that Bank Holiday waiting period.