Lifestyle

Wimbledon Watch, Stranger Things Volume II and Glasto Blues! Listen to it for July


From taking 3-5 business days to recover from Stranger Things Season 4 Volume II to planning your life around Love Island, here are 20 things to do in July.

1. Set up a tent in your back garden just to feel something. Those Glasto blues hit you hard. This time last week you were living on cider, glitter and crisps. You are a shell of humanity and everyone will hear about it.

2. Walk into your group exercise class and break a sweat immediately when you realize you’re one of the only *two* people showing up…because it’s sunny. Send help.

3. Celebrate Percy Pig turning 30 the only way you know… by pulling the wrong amount of gum until you grow a curly tail of your own and snorting, burping, sneezing and fart at the same time. It’s all downhill from here, buddy Percy.

4. Play Kate Bush again. It is a need.

5. Supervent when your life is turned upside down again by Stranger Things Volume II and pray that ‘shaggy’ Steve Harrington is alive to tell the story of killing Vecna.

6. Dress up as a tree just to enter Hyde Park to see Adele without paying £400 a ticket. Calm downyyyyyyyyyyyyy

7. Feel yourself falling victim to pollen. Difficulty speaking, breathing or opening eyes right now.

8. Watch Love Island and be heavily invested in the girls and their salon experience. Ahem.

9. Your first beach trip of the year. It’s lovely when you join.

10. Suddenly becoming a tennis assistant because of Wimbledon, what’s the point of love?

11. Watching a dish that normally makes you sick today will still make you sick today. What in the bathroom inside is going on here?!

12. Try and push yourself to fake tan. You *never* miss a workout.

13. Tell your friends not to invite you anywhere until the cost of living comes down.

14. Consider canceling that road trip. You can barely afford the journey from pump 2 to pump 3.

15. Buy every Kopparberg bastard you can find. The temperature is 34 degrees.

16. Watch Where the Crawdads Sing. We stan Daisy Edgar Jones.

17. Master your corporate laughter while actively reveling in Microsoft Teams meetings.

18. Calculate how much your boss owes you because you’re the highlight of everyone’s day.

19. Reward yourself with 3 cups of iced coffee a day. Treating yourself is the fine print of the introvert contract.

20. Spray deodorant on thighs and powder on chest. Not everyone fits into the bad bitch category. It’s a genre.



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