Assad’s police threatened to bury me and my reporting. Now I’m back and free

Eleven years ago, I left Damascus without knowing whether I would return.

Back then, the city was engulfed in war. The intense violence, which followed President Bashar al-Assad’s brutal crackdown on pro-democracy protests, engulfed the capital. Anytime you can shot dead on the street.

I reported for the BBC from inside Syria about the first protests in 2011. I reported on “day of wrath”then came the shootings, killings, disappearances, air strikes and barrel bombs – until I myself became numb and lost hope.

I have been arrested many times. The regime restricted my movement and threatened me, and in 2013 I had to leave.

Over the past decade, I have been on a rollercoaster of hope and despair, watching my country being divided by foreign countries. Death, destruction, confinement. Millions of people fled and became refugees.

Like many Syrians, I feel as if the world has forgotten our country. There is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Back then, when people took to the streets calling for the overthrow of the regime, I never imagined it would actually happen, given President Assad’s strong supporters in Russia and Iran.

But on Sunday, in the blink of an eye, everything changed.

Last week, I was in Beirut reporting on the fall of Aleppo and Hama to anti-Assad fighters, but I really didn’t think that would bring about change. I thought Syria would be split in two, with Damascus and the coastal cities remaining in Assad’s hands.

After midnight on Saturday, everything suddenly turned upside down. By 04:00, it was announced that the regime had collapsed and Assad was gone. As I write these lines, I still can’t believe this is true.

Over the weekend, I tried to get a permit to enter the country from one of the most feared secret police organizations in Syria, called the Palestine Branch. They had an arrest warrant in my name because I was covering the protests.

I cannot forget being detained during the first week of the 2011 uprising. I saw men lining up to be beaten, fresh blood on the floor, and screams of torture. A security officer grabbed my mouth and said he would “cut it off”. [me]”If I say a word.

On Sunday, my colleagues and I rushed to the Syrian border. Now there is no one in the Palestine Branch – neither the security officers nor the investigators who threatened me when I last tried to enter Syria in January. He told me he could bury me seven stories underground and no one would ever know. I wonder where he is now. How did he feel about the thousands of people he interrogated and threatened? Or the people tortured to death in Assad’s prisons?

I crossed the border into Syria without fear of being detained. When I broadcast for the BBC from Damascus, I reported without fear for my safety.

There was a sense of joy in the air in Damascus, despite the worries Muslim rebels are in control and whether they can ensure safety in the country. Hayat Tahrir al-Sham (HTS) fighters protected public institutions from looting after The crowd stormed the presidential palaceand the prisoners were released.

An HTS team met with Christian residents of Bab Touma, a neighborhood in Damascus, to ensure that they did not seek to limit their freedoms.

Some in the Alawite community – who have long supported Assad – worry about what will happen to them, but so far there have not been any reports of sectarian violence.

Since Sunday, friends and family members who fled have been texting me saying they will return. It seems like everyone wants to return home.

My apartment in central Damascus was destroyed in 2013 when I left, after the authorities branded me a traitor and banned me from living there. Security forces and local officials broke in and destroyed walls and ceilings.

Last month I was able to regain possession of it after paying thousands of dollars in bribes. It will take time to rebuild it, but that’s what I’ll do.

And perhaps when it is ready, Syria will be ready for all of us to return.