Gina Brilon talks about how grief motivated her to pursue comedy

Gina Brilon is a Puerto Rican actress, stand-up comedian, writer, and mother born and raised in the Bronx. In 2012, she became the first and only Latina to win NBC’s Stand Up for Diversity Showcase. She continues to release comedy specials on NuvoTV, HBO, and Amazon Prime. She has appeared on “The View,” “Late Night With Seth Meyers” and “Jimmy Kimmel Live” and was the first Latina comedian to reach the finals of season 16 of “America’s Got Talent.”

During Mental Health Awareness Month, we asked Latinx comedians and creators we admire how comedy has helped them overcome trauma and face their most important challenges. how in life. Read the sections here.

We don’t talk enough about the healing power of humor. The old saying “laughter is the best medicine”, sounds cliché but actually has a lot of truth. I learned about the power of laughter when I was quite young. In Latino families, we often use humor to heal hurts and difficulties. It helped us get through a lot. At home, we joke about everything from the government, to the cheese we ate, to the childish games we played. I was very moved by this in my Amazon Prime special, “The Floor is Lava.”

My childhood was good but also had many difficulties. Money troubles were real, and I remember at one point we were on food stamps. We’ve had some challenging times, but somehow we always find a chance to laugh about it. It was one of those “if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry” situations. But it wasn’t until I lost my grandmother that I realized the momentary relief that laughter can bring, even in the face of loss and grief.

I always say this, but my grandmother is the reason I decided to pursue a career as a stand-up comedian. It was probably around age 8 or 9 that I realized I had a gift for making people laugh. At that same age, I truly saw how healing laughter can be. When I realized that I could make someone laugh, my mission was to make those around me laugh because I loved the joy I got from it. My grandmother was the first person in the family to notice I was funny. She would tell my mother things like, “Your daughter is so talented. One day she will be on TV” and I gradually believed her.

For a while, I kept the jokes for the family. At home, I was a fun, crazy kid but much more reserved when in public. When I was a child, I had low self-esteem because I was a chubby, funny girl. So if I didn’t know you like that, I wouldn’t try to make you laugh because I’m already so insecure. In fact, my school friends who knew me since childhood were surprised when I became a stand-up comedian. They always think I’m funny but they also think I’m shy because I’m older. I was never the class clown. But I was the kid who was always quick to make a joke. If I see a joke somewhere, I say it quickly before anyone else can say it first.

My grandmother is probably one of the toughest women I have ever met – to this day. This is my grandmother. She lived with us and passed away when I was 16, but most of my childhood was spent with a woman I loved very much. She came to New York from Puerto Rico and never really learned English as such, but the English she did learn was from watching “I Love Lucy.” That’s when I began to understand how much my grandmother appreciated comedic relief. When I learned that, I always tried to annoy her.

My grandmother is not a person who easily makes people laugh. She is tough and serious. She also hates jokes. But she likes silliness. Something about the silliness helped her soften and completely let her guard down – no matter what she was going through at the time. I started studying her sense of humor and bringing her the silliness I knew she liked. When my grandmother smiled, she smiled with her whole being. She exudes extreme joy – it brings out another side of her that I appreciated when I was younger. That became our biggest way of connecting – making her laugh.

But when I was about 11 years old, my grandmother’s health began to decline. She will randomly get cuts and bruises. She began to feel body aches more often. I knew she wasn’t the same when I started noticing my mother having to bathe her every day. It was difficult for me because I grew up watching this strong woman who never wanted to be a burden find herself in such a vulnerable place. I almost don’t know how to connect with her anymore. My siblings were quick to help with her physical care, but I never felt comfortable doing so. It was hard for me to witness her at her weakest.

During that time, I realized that the best medicine I could give her was laughter. On her toughest days, I made sure to make her laugh and she constantly encouraged me to make a career out of it one day. My grandmother was my first comedy audience and the first person to truly believe in me, so when she passed away, I told God that I would pursue a career in comedy.

I knew it was coming because I had never heard such fear in this woman’s voice before. I remember thinking, that’s it. Mom told me to go to sleep but I couldn’t. I asked if I could go to the bathroom, and as soon as I got there, I opened the window, knelt down, and began to pray. I remember the first words out of my mouth were “God, I knew you were going to take my grandmother away tonight.” I told God that from that moment on, whenever I made someone laugh, it was in honor of my grandmother. And if I ever do anything in comedy, it will always be for her. The next morning, she was gone.

It was a difficult season for my family – especially my mother. It took me a while to feel like it was appropriate, but I slowly started using humor to help myself and the rest of my family through it. Even at the funeral, no matter how difficult it is, there are still small moments where the family jokes and roasts each other, and it feels healing. We allow ourselves to grieve and cry. But we also found opportunities to laugh and smile in her memory.

Until now, every time I step on stage, I think of my grandmother. I really feel her energy with me all the time. I could feel her in the room watching me. I always say, “Did you see that, grandma? Did you see what I just did? Did you like it?”

Every milestone was dedicated to her, from my first 20-minute special for HBO’s “Entre Nos” to my first hour-long special “Pacifically Talking”, my Amazon Prime special “The Floor Is Lava” until even when I was on “America’s Got Talent” My sister, who is really interested in the spiritual side of things, always tells me that she is always there for me. I believe we all get advice from people who are meant to take care of us in this life, and I believe we choose them. I chose my grandmother and I chose George Carlin – my favorite comedian growing up. I truly believe he was part of those minds The spirit always follows me to the point that every time I walk into the Gotham Comedy Club, I have to say hello to his photo.

Comedy not only got me through every difficult situation I’ve ever experienced in this life, from heartbreak to loss, but it also helped me find myself. It transformed a young, insecure girl into the most confident person she’s ever been. It gave me the ability to connect with people, the first being my grandmother. Comedy has allowed me to help others heal because it has helped me heal in my own way. It is my longest relationship in this life and my most cherished relationship.

Johanna Ferreira is the content director of POPSUGAR Juntos. With over 10 years of experience, Johanna focuses on how intersectional identities are a central part of Latinx culture. Previously, she spent nearly three years as deputy editor at HipLatina and freelanced for multiple outlets including Refinery29, O Magazine, Allure, InStyle and Well+Good. She has also moderated and spoken on numerous panels on Latine identity.