Jemima Kelly tries to find happiness
In my daily work like ONE FT columnistI cast a skeptical, often disrespectful eye on the world around me. I tend to be someone who challenges things – not because of it, but because I’m skeptical when a whole group of people believe the same thing. I’m often labeled a “contrarian”. I used to host a podcast series called A Skeptic’s Guide to Cryptocurrency. I have the word “snark” in my X profile. You get the idea.
So you might be surprised to learn about some of the things I do in my free time. I use the word “synchronous” without any sense of irony. I swear to me definitely spiritual kinesiologist. I’m a member of a society called the Sisters of the Sanitary Fabric (both our description and name are a bit ironic, although the latter more than the former). I was obsessed same staran app that claims to use Nasa data to give you “super accurate” AI-generated horoscopes, ahem. (It was recommended to me by a senior colleague. I won’t name names.) I write Morning Pages, which is endorsed by Julia Cameron, author of the creativity bible. The artist’s path. You know, I’m “working”.
But how can someone who is so wary of consensus views and so passionate about the importance of truth and objectivity fall into what many of you might consider quackery? hash? I think it’s pretty simple: I’m open-minded. And while I believe in the value of reason and empiricism, I would also argue that it actually is reasonable to explore alternative approaches to science, medicine and life.
That’s how I found myself standing under a chandelier in a sumptuous Edwardian room at the Savoy Hotel, tapping my “eyebrow point” with my fingertips as silent tears rolled down my cheeks. on the cheek. “I feel like I’m on a never-ending dating cycle,” I repeated after the instructor as I pressed on (we discussed how I felt; she wasn’t just guessing). “I’m so bored” – I moved my fingertip down to touch one eye. “Eurgh” – under my eyes. “Bleurgh” – under my nose. “So many dates” – under my lower lip. “So many dates!” – clavicle. “But I’m willing to be open to love” – above my head. “And I trust my intuition more and more” – back to my eyebrows. Et cetera.
My instructor is Delbridge Opiumformer Warner Brothers executive who left the world of entertainment television in 2018 to devote full time to tapping, a largely self-administered form of therapy that incorporates modern psychology and traditional Chinese medicine. I met her by chance a few months ago and decided it was time to meet the love of my life. I went into a “tasting session” feeling rather vague, spending most of our time together in a state of extreme crying (she had influenced me in all of our one-on-one sessions). us) and left feeling as if I were floating in the air.
Now I type every day. I am an alcoholic. Guided by Delbridge’s Fast Tapping app as well as her book, Tap inI’ve tapped on a park bench, in a sauna, on a Greek island, in a bathtub. I completed her “Pivot to Power” personal empowerment program (fellow graduates include Caroline Rush, chief executive of the British Fashion Council and Royle family co-author Phil Mealey). I joined one of her “quick retreats” (our group of five included a Delevingne sister and a superfan who had flown in from the Caribbean). And I am currently doing her “30 Day Love Cleanse” which, like all of Delbridge’s programs, involves not only tapping but also some soul-searching and personal development. quite stressful.
How to do the two-minute tap
Poppy Delbridge’s Guide to “Quick Mining”
Begin
Sit or stand comfortably.
Set your intention: decide how you want to feel at this moment (calm, energized, focused).
Check your frequency level: place both hands on your chest and pay attention to how you feel right now. Rate yourself from +10 (high joy) to -10 (low energy or stress).
Take one breath.
Move your hands: slide them down a few inches from your collarbone and firmly massage the “sore spots” to maintain balance and grounding.
Set your intention:
1. “I feel…” Identify your current feelings
2. “Because … “ Acknowledge why you feel that way.
3. “But I can…”
Fast mining sequence
use two fingers on each hand, touch these points while repeating your three-step answer.
1. Between the eyebrows
2. Both eyes
3. Under the eyes
4. Under the nose
5. Chin
6. Clavicle and heart area
7. Top of the head
Complete with head holding and shaking head position: rub your hands together, place one hand on your forehead, the other hand on the back of your neck and hold for 10 seconds. Hold and smile. Then shake your hands and body to recalibrate and refresh.
The 7-day Quick Reset feature is available in the app for free as a video demonstration
Tapping is a therapy called “somatic” therapy, meaning it focuses on the mind-body connection. It has its origins in ancient Chinese medicine but was invented by an American psychologist in the 1980s and then simplified by one of his students in the 90s to become the art of emotional freedom”. With EFT, you tap into nine key “meridians” — pressure points also used for acupuncture — to release trapped energy from traumatic experiences stored in the body. While some people dismiss it as pseudoscience — Gary Bakker, a clinical psychologist and lecturer at the University of Tasmania, calls tapping “purple hat therapy” and told me that “There is no evidence that touching your imaginary meridians has any effect on clinical disease.” psychological problems” – there are studies that suggest that touch can be a treatment for depression, anxiety, PTSD, food cravings and even physical pain and symptoms of autism. immunity.
And the more I tapped into it, the more problems I found it helped me solve – especially around stress, lack of motivation, and lack of confidence.
Delbridge’s version, “Quick Tapping,” focuses on the seven meridian points that EFT uses and also often includes initial massage of “pain points” — fleshy parts about an inch below the collarbone that when touched feels soft on the inside – as does the “head hug” at the end (her app includes an instructional video). She wants to use tapping to focus less on avoiding the bad things of the past, as with traditional EFT, and more on the good things of the future, by “reconstructing rewire our neural pathways.” In other words: “manifest” what you want in life.
If this sounds hyperbolic, rest assured that there is no such obvious label of toxic positivity. The fact that every workout session starts with saying out loud how you really feel, and if it’s negative, repeat that until the feeling starts to become less intense, is a part of what makes exercise useful. Not only does it feel like you’re releasing stress when you say your negative emotions out loud, but some negative emotions also start to feel a little ridiculous when you say them.
Most taps start by asking you to rate your feelings — either in general or about a specific issue — and end by asking you to rate them again. Some days my emotions just run high; Other days my mood completely changes within minutes. Whatever it was doing, it felt like something was working. I also sigh as I type, a lot. The others yawned. “I joke that I’m the only public speaker where when the entire audience yawns, I don’t feel offended,” says Nick Ortner, who has more than 100,000 subscribers to his The Tapping Solution App. .
“At a minimum, you’re resetting your nervous system,” says Dr. Tara Swart, a neuroscientist and one of Delbridge’s clients who now taps most days. into a non-sympathetic state – from fight or flight to rest and relaxation.” “People who are not used to a comfortable state of alertness may feel sleepy.”
As for me, although I may not have met the love of my life yet, I feel like I have broken down some barriers – or “love blocks” – since my first meeting with Delbridge in May. I also seem to spend less time self-sabotaging and am regulating my emotions more successfully. I now use tapping as part of my morning routine and sometimes at other times during the day, and find it similar to meditation in the way it grounds me, although it often brings clarity. Feel more energized, motivated and more focused if you want it to be
I can assure you that I feel like a fool – a fool! – the first time I did it, but these days, touching my face and chest with my fingertips feels strangely natural. Let’s try it, I said. What’s the worst that could happen?
