My inner ego fueled my dreams in comedy and acting
Sasha Merci as Josefina in Erlina Ortiz’s “La Egoísta” at Philadelphia Theater Company. (Image source: Mark Garvin)
Soy Demasiado, a special edition of Juntos, celebrates Latinas who are reclaiming what it means to be “too much.” Read the story here.
In a Dominican family, women are often considered the glue that holds everyone together. From a young age, we are taught to be reliable, trustworthy, and emotionally steadfast. Our role is clear: supporting our family, sometimes having to sacrifice our own dreams. In a culture that places a lot of emphasis on familism – the idea that family always comes first – I was raised to believe that my worth lies in how well I can build and maintain a home for others to rely on. Pursuing dreams that did not align with this vision of our family was not only discouraging; it’s almost unimaginable.
For me, the journey of pursuing my own dreams means challenging the very foundation of those values. Choosing to leave New York and move to Los Angeles in 2018 to pursue a career in acting and comedy felt like an act of rebellion. It was the most selfish thing I could do – or at least that’s how my family made me feel about it. They would ask why I chose this unlikely path, and whenever I missed family gatherings or tragedy broke out in my hometown, I would get calls suggesting that everything it would be different if I were there.
The decision to move and the aftermath were painful, fraught with guilt and self-doubt. Every missed holiday or family celebration is a reminder of the expectations I have challenged. As the person in my family who always set boundaries, I became the “difficult one” and the selfish one. I sometimes question my choices, but I believe that putting my dreams first will allow me to break the cycle and live a life that sets a new standard for what a woman should be. Dominican women can achieve.
Because in my heart, I know that if I stay, the generational problem will still exist. My absence was not the cause of them; it allows me to see them more clearly and validates my choice to find a new path.
Of course, creating a new path for yourself is not easy. Self-doubt creeps in and generational trauma can convince you of the very ideas you’re trying to escape. But I realized that being considered an “ego” by those you love isn’t mean; it stems from fear of what failure can do to you. Parents especially want to keep us safe and they are taught how to survive rather than thrive. Life must be valued, with roles assigned to keep the family’s ecosystem stable. But times are changing, and Latinas can be whatever they choose.
As Josefina in a play I recently participated in called “La Egoísta“ I found a striking reflection of my own life. “La Egoista” written by Erlina Ortiz, produced by Tony Award-winning production company Edgewood Entertainment and directed by Tatyana-Marie Carlo. I shared the stage with Maria Gabriela Gonzálezwho plays my sister, and puppeteer Marisol Rosea Shapiro. I am extremely grateful to have shared the stage with such talented people. This project taught me the importance of putting art first; it inspires, moves, and encourages audiences to look within themselves to see what they may be lacking or need to become. Through Josefina, I understand the importance of embracing the “self” within.
Josefina, like me, was caught in a tug-of-war between personal dreams and family loyalty. Famiismo is a beautiful value rooted in love and support, but it can also be a burden, especially for women. For Latinas, these expectations often translate into an unwritten rule that our dreams come second. Men are encouraged to be go-getters, while women are expected to be nesters, always sacrificing for their family. I realized that while nepotism is nurturing, it can unintentionally limit women from reaching our full potential.
As my comedy and acting career took off, I had to make sacrifices that many people cannot understand. I missed weddings, birthdays, and other family gatherings. Over time, I understood that my boundaries were necessary — not as an act of abandonment but as an affirmation of self-esteem.
It took years but I learned to say no, protect my time and Prioritize my health and well-being overcome sin. I realized that by sacrificing myself, I wouldn’t help anyone in the long run. To be my best self and a successful comedian and actor, I had to give myself permission to pursue what felt right, even if it went against everything I had been taught.
While some relatives have understood, others still do not understand. When I say no to big family events, their disappointment is evident. I’ve been called “too much” for prioritizing my career, but I firmly believe that by staying true to myself, I’m honoring my family in my own way. I want to show that a Latina can pursue her dreams, create success, and still love her family deeply.
Playing Josefina taught me a lot about the power of choice. “La Egoísta” gave me the opportunity to express the conflict that many Latinas face: wanting to stay close to their roots while also reaching out to pursue their dreams. Familismo is beautiful, but for it to truly serve us, it must grow to support the dreams of every family member. Women deserve the freedom to dream big, to leave if they choose, and to redefine what family means to them.
To other career-oriented Latinas, I say this: don’t be afraid to embrace your inner self. Protecting your dreams and setting boundaries for your happiness is not selfish. Your ambitions are legitimate and your goals are worth pursuing. As we create space for our growth, we will not abandon our families; We are creating a legacy to show future generations that they too can pursue their passions with ease. I am proud to be a Dominican woman who is charting a new path, and I hope that by following my dreams, I will help others do the same.
Sasha Merci is a first-generation Dominican-American actor, comedian, and viral digital creator. She represents over a decade of diverse experience in entertainment with roles in films such as “Justice Thieves” and “De Lo Mio”, along with collaborations with famous brands like Target and Bumble. She shares her Bronx roots and passion for Latine culture by speaking out about mental health and navigating comedy.
