Paper Mario’s Ms. Mowz taught me how to appreciate (and steal) the little things
Soapbox features allow our individual writers and contributors to voice their opinions on hot topics and random things they’re mulling over. Today, Kate discusses one of Mario’s criminal — and criminally underrated — friends…
Sometimes I suspect that, in another life before this one, I was a thief. In this life, I’m a relatively boring, mostly law-abiding person – although occasionally I’m tempted to ‘accidentally’ put expensive products into cheaper ones while I’m at the counter self-checkout, aka God’s little test – but when a game gives me a gentle chance, I go all in.
It’s not entirely my fault. Skyrim simply a heist simulator with a story as far as I’m concerned. Dragon dogma And Witch 3 are full of people who always keep their valuables in large and attractive trunks, almost like they want me to get it. And if people don’t want me to put their names in Bald Gate 3, they should not leave it lying around on the ground. It’s a victimless crime! NPCs aren’t real and they don’t have emotions or any need for a big sack of gold anyway. Additionally, my real life is full of complex, difficult moral choices, so when I play games, I become a petty thief, with no consequences.
Most games that let you steal are RPGs – epic fantasy games that let you be whoever you want, including the dirty thief. But there are also elements of heist in other games, like Final Fantasy Steal moves And Pokemon’s Thief Move, robbing them of the item they were holding. You might think that this type of low-stakes, item-at-a-time theft isn’t as thrilling as regular shoplifting, off-the-shelf theft, or pickpocketing, but here’s the thing: It absolutely is. Stealing is usually fun because you get stuff for free. Stealing by move is fun because you have it no idea what you will receive. It could be a potion; it can be a rare late-game item; it could be money. Thief! Yes!
In general, there isn’t a lot of morally questionable behavior in Mario games. Mario and his friends are surprisingly well-behaved in a game where the closest thing to a cop is a group of very stupid mushrooms. But stay Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, we get to see a much shadier side of the Mushroom Kingdom in Rogueport, a gathering place for the seediest. It’s extremely dark for a Mario game. There is a gallows! There is gang violence! Only one Mafia! And… there’s Miss Mowz.
She’s a hot sauce for Mario’s baked potatoes, and I don’t mean to imply that.
You first meet Ms. Mowz on her quest to find the dragon Hooktail and save the town of Petalburg. She’s the one who gives you hints on how to defeat him, by finding a certain badge in the castle, and she even gives Mario a quick peck on the cheek before escaping out the window. Scandal! You meet the masked mouse a few more times throughout the game, crossing paths with her as she searches for the elusive and valuable badges, but not until you agree to help her – a completely optional and easily missed side quest – you just befriended her forever.
And once you’ve befriended her, she’s one of the best companions in the game (in my opinion), thanks to her two unique abilities. The first is the ability to uncover secrets, like Star Pieces and coins, which you’ll be grateful for at the end of the game when you need them for upgrades. The second, as you may have guessed, is theft.
Ms. Mowz’s Kiss Thief move can steal money, items, and even badges from an unsuspecting victim, both adding to Mario’s inventory and ensuring that enemies can’t use anything they are holding. And I know, tactically, Ms. Mowz as a companion is… fine. She can’t resist Bobbery’s blasts, Vivian’s Veil, and Yoshi… everything, because Mowz’s damaging moves aren’t very good. Even the theft isn’t great, because most of the time what you’ll get is just a coin.
But I’m not in it for the sake of it! I’m not in it for the power! I’m a Ms. Mowz stan because I just love the thrill of theft.
Paper Mario is a game that lets you mix things up in a great way. You can change the way your badges load, you can change your companions, and you can make bad tactical decisions if you want, especially if those bad tactical decisions are happy. I like equipping the Luigi costume and Attack FX badge, even if they don’t do anything. I prefer to use attacks that deal a lot of damage instead of playing well and using more subtle moves. And I love having Ms. Mowz with me. She’s cute, charming, and she gives me free stuff. I mean, forget Peach – Ms. Mowz is the girlfriend Mario truly deserves.
Actually, that’s another great thing about Ms. Mowz – the uniqueness of being a total charmer in a game series that’s usually pretty innocent. She’s not afraid to call him things like “handsome cheesemonger” (ew), wink at him, and give him more kisses than Peach has in the entire history of Mario games. She’s a hot sauce for Mario’s baked potatoes, and I don’t mean to imply that. Ms. Mowz is emblematic of the weird, wonderful and slightly daring things that The Thousand-Year Door is known for. She was exactly the spice the series needed, and I loved her.
So, yes, Ms. Mowz is not one to have strategy and fighting power. Out of all of Mario’s companions, she usually ranks lowest for that reason. But I like to steal. And I love Ms. Mowz. Maybe the best companions aren’t always the ones who maximize the amount of damage we deal, but the ones who bring the most joy to our game experience. This is a lesson I encourage you all to take with you into other games as well – put down the min-max guidelines and stop and smell the roses every once in a while. Sometimes those roses will teach you how to pickpocket.
